Ep. 17: Online Dating and the Pitfalls of Goal-oriented Relationships
Dana Hamilton, Playboy columnist and anti-diet dating coach, shares insights on online dating and crafting a dating app bio that's perfectly you
TW: Discussions of eating disorder. Ashley is joined by Playboy columnist and anti-diet dating coach Dana Hamilton, to talk about the ins and outs of online dating, the potential drawbacks to goal-oriented relationships, and how recovering from an eating disorder (ED) impacts how she moves through the world.
“The concept that prevents people from having joyful dating lives is goal oriented dating, which means, I want a serious partner or nothing at all.” -Dana
“As long as the people you’re dating make you feel great, it doesn’t matter if it lasts a week, a month, a decade, or your lifetime.” -Dana
“I’ve found when you break apart from the mold and do whatever feels good to you, it ends up being a much richer, robust, beautiful life.” -Dana
“Porn is to real sex what the WWE is to wrestling in the olympics.” -Dana
“Bring humor to sex, sex is one of the funniest things that we do. If you can’t laugh with your partner, you shouldn’t be fucking them.” -Dana
“If you are someone who struggles with communication or making the first move on a dating app, get stoned. Get stoned and write stuff that makes you laugh and makes it fun for you.” -Dana
“I very often would smoke and swipe”-Dana
“I’ve had multiple dating app bios that have led to very interesting results. Things like, "Pro: loves anal, Con: also loves Chipotle." or "If I don't message first it's because I died 12 years ago."” -Dana
“Life’s short dude, I can only be me. I’m not good at being anybody else, all I can be is me. If you like it, that’s cool. If you don’t, fuck off.” -Ashley
“Once you become a part of the world, you don’t want the ED [eating disorder] stuff anymore.”
“If I’m choosing between a big, beautiful life that might be a little bit uncomfortable at first vs. the safety of something so debilitating. I’m only going to choose the former now, I’m never going to choose the later anymore.” -Dana
“I know for a lot of ED people, ED’s happen formative years. I lost my age from 13-19 to a really debilitating illness, and I owe it to younger me to go out and do all this fun stuff that I didn’t get to do as a kid.” -Dana
Dana Hamilton writes (oftentimes humorous) essays inspired by her very bizarre life, most notably surrounding sex, travel, and eating disorder recovery. She is a Playboy sex columnist, a former roadtripper, and an anti-diet dating coach.
Dana is passionate about sex positivity, body positivity, and pointing out the toxic similarities between the diet industry and modern dating. As an anti-diet dating coach, she helps people make peace with their bodies and develop the self-confidence necessary to have the sex and dating experiences they deserve.
Dana lives in Los Angeles and holds a BA in Individualized Study (writing and nutrition/food studies) from New York University.
To find and work with Dana, check out her website and subscribe to her Patreon, which features all sorts of fabulous perks including Sex Talk Sunday and How to Write a Dating App Bio. Follow Dana on Instagram and Twitter
Check out Ashley's online courses at Elevated Intimacy Academy.
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