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Ep. 14: Talk Dirty To Me

Updated: Jun 29, 2020

Ashley, former PSO and dirty talker extraordinaire, shares some of her best tips

Episode Recap

Ashley offers her ever-awkward producer Sam (LMFT# 106352) tips on how to talk dirty to a sexual partner. Ashley's experience as a phone sex operator definitely shines through in this episode. Learn why a pre-talk is so important, and how to have one!

For your FREE Dirty Talk Quick Start Guide, visit

  • Yes, No, Maybe list- “What are the things that turn you on, what are the things that turn me on, where are the limits” -Ashley

  • “I really like to use it [YNM list] for dirty talk. Because it helps you really to drill down (pun intended) what kind of language works for you. Are you someone who likes cock, or dick, or schlong?” -Ashley

  • “One of the things I have in my online course I’m going to be launching is a list of words & synonyms for things like thrust, pound, stroke, cum, so you can see if those words are interesting to you. And then I also have a list of words for genitals like pussy, twat, cunt, velvet glove, tunnel of love” -Ashley

  • “Pro tip for phone sex: if you use lube when you’re masturbating, make sure you put your phone in a ziplock bag & use headphones- you do not want to have to explain to the geniuses at the Apple store why your phone is covered in silicone lube” -Ashley

  • “Everything’s going cyber now, the importance of doing dirty talk well is amplified because this is the only contact we’re allowing ourselves.” -Sam

  • “With any new skill, understand that you’re going to feel awkward. Lean into it, embrace it, make peace with the awkward, invite it over for tea.” -Ashley

  • “For me at the end of the sex, whatever that looks like for my boyfriend and I- the last thing we do is I pull out my purple We Vibe Tango and I get myself off one last time. And what I really like, while I’m doing it is for my boyfriend to lay next to me to have his hand running over my body and whispering dirty things in my ear. Right when I’m getting close, he’ll put one hand around my throat, then he’ll start coaxing and encouraging me. Right at the moment I’m about to come he says “cum for me…” and I just explode.” -Ashley

  • “Some people really don’t like the word moist. Moist is so charged, but also completely innocuous.” -Ashley

  • “Do a sex lab where you basically set the container as 'we’re going to just try things for the next 15-20 minutes and see what works and what doesn’t.'” -Ashley

  • “Finding the mutual win. This works for me, and this works for you.” -Ashley

  • “Erotica is such a great place to get ideas with no fall out if it doesn’t work for you. It’s a great way to do field research.” -Ashley

Learn more about Ashley's work on her website, Instagram, and Twitter, and be sure to follow Elevated Intimacy on Instagram and Twitter!

If you're looking for Ashley's online courses on Hand Sex and Dirty Talk, check out Elevated Intimacy Academy.

Thanks as always to our sponsors, Foria and Sybian!

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